What's ... Deep Within Your Heart?

I hardly give a second thought as I reply, "I am fine. I am good." when someone asks,"How are you doing?" Wait a second. Pause. 'Have I always been doing good?' Hm mm. Not really. Then why do I say so? Have I just told a lie? I don't really know.Still thinking about it.

Knowingly or unknowingly we carry in our hearts the roots of bitterness. When I tried to list out those in mine, barely one or two came to my mind. I'm thankful I came across a magazine recently which had an article on 'bitterness'. As I honestly and sincerely answered the questions put forth by the author, I suddenly became aware of the many 'bitter roots' seated in the database of my memory. It's time I flushed them lest they flourish.

I let bitterness creep into my heart by means such as words and deeds. Like a chain reaction, words or deeds cause hurt or pain and these when unattended result in bitterness. When a word or deed causes hurt and you dwell on the hurt, you can be sure that 'word' or 'deed' has had an impact on you. Not a positive one though. Our actions are subconsciously driven by that hurt which slowly takes root in our hearts in the form of bitterness. While we may be aware of the bitterness that results from 'grave hurts', we might deny the existence of 'tiny little roots' in our hearts till it manifests in our own words or actions.

 For instance, I would rather not meet this person who caused me pain a second time. My very choice of 'trying to avoid' the hurt-causer is a result of bitterness. Even if confronted with that person, I may put-on a mask in his/her presence as if all is well. I'd choose my words carefully. In the end I am not my own-self. Sometimes, we think the hurt is gone and forgotten but if the mention of a person or place brings back the unpleasant past to life and your emotions run high, the hurt is not healed yet. Next time we make a choice or decision concerning someone, let us take a moment to analyze and make sure it is not because of some bitter root in the secret place of our hearts. Bitterness when unattended destroys one's own self and others. Its extremes like taking revenge- tooth for tooth, eye for eye, destroys others.

Have you ever tried pulling out a weed from your garden only to find it come up after a while? We pull out the plant but its root is left behind firmly in the soil. On the surface, nothing is seen. The root is hidden in the soil. One fine day, that root springs up and you think, "Oh, I had dealt with it last year. How come its back?" Dear, you forgot to pull that 'hurt' by its root. It was a job half-done. Recently, a beautiful shoot showed up in one of my pots. I was curious what that was. Days later a couple of succulent leaves appeared. I did not sow seeds. How did it come up? Such are unknown seeds of bitterness sown in the soil of our hearts. Those 'small hurts' which we overlooked and ignored make known their existence by popping their ugly faces some day. We know not when they took root and began to grow.

God judges the intentions of a man's heart. For the word of God is living and powerful .... is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12 NKJV) We may do good deeds and acts of righteousness with a bad motive and pass off as a good Christian. Watch out! Above else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23 NIV) 

What's next? Having identified the roots of bitterness in  my heart, I took them to the Lord in prayer. I listed them one by one, confessed, forgave and charted out an action plan; some do's and don'ts. Trust me, God can help us out. When words that belittle, embarrass, hurt, wound, upset whatever come our way, may we choose not to build castles out of them instead forgive and let the love of Christ heal those hurts.

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:15)